Empty Nest Syndrome…It Is Real Friends

You have heard the phrase…EMPTY NEST SYNDROME.  It sounds simple enough…kind of cutesy really.  When you think of an “empty nest” reference, you might envision the cute, little baby birds who finally learned to fly and now the nest is empty.  I am just telling you right now…from my experience, empty nest syndrome offered nothing cute in my life. 

The Mayo Clinic defines empty nest syndrome as “a phenomenon in which parents experience feelings of sadness and loss when the last child leaves home”.  Well…they sure make it sound so simple! I think they left out a few descriptors such as…HEART WRENCHING, EMPTINESS, LOSS OF IDENTITY, SCARCITY, DIRECTIONLESS…I will stop there.  I know…I am sounding so dramatic!  I am not usually an emotionally dramatic person.  But SERIOUSLY…this empty nest stuff kicked me in the behind!

Isn’t it funny how hard it is to understand something until you go through it? Oh you can empathize with someone and give them support. BUT you cannot truly address what they are going through unless you in fact have went through the same thing yourself. I apologize right now to anyone I may have insulted by diminishing their feelings of empty nest syndrome.

I have always been one who embraced change.  I love trying new things, going new places, living a new adventure.  My empty house adventure was not one I was ready for or willing to grasp with both hands and dive all in.  I was blindsided.  I spent probably 3 years really struggling.  I didn’t know what to do.  I didn’t know how to function on a day-to-day basis.  What do you do when…you don’t have 3 girls to worry about coming home from a night out…you don’t have 5 people’s laundry to do, only 2…don’t have all the people to cook for…don’t get to hear about their days at school, practice, work or with friends…don’t get to cheer loudly at softball and basketball games…don’t get to encourage them before and after the game…don’t get to tell them to “have the time of their lives” before they head out to win that state softball championship…you don’t get to watch them get in the school record books in basketball…you don’t get to walk into church with them on Sunday morning…don’t get to do any of those things you had done for 23 years straight! 

YOUNG MOMS – if this empty nester can tell you anything, DO NOT take for granted any moment!  Oh I know it is tough and it is busy!!  Cherish the school plays, the grade school music programs, the night they come home from their first date, the look on their face when they get their driver’s license…just don’t miss it while you are in it.  May I also suggest that although you want to be present and enjoy every minute, make sure you are preparing yourself to have a life once they empty your nest.

MOMS GOING THROUGH EMPTY NEST RIGHT NOW…if you are really struggling, talk to a friend who has already went through it.  You may have a well-meaning friend who wants to help you.  If they have not been through it, they might not be able to help in the way you might need.  Seek out someone who knows how your heart aches.  Why can I offer this advice?  Because I have lived it and didn’t seek help.  I just suffered, mourned and lived for about 3 years really sad.  Time healed my heart, but I sure could have used the support along the way. 

SO….now that we have covered the truth and the heart ache, let me just say we can so ENJOY LIFE in the empty nest!!  We have to CHOOSE it!  I had to keep telling myself…my girls will never be little and living at home again!  They just won’t so face that fact!  Then I made a choice to find a way to get out of my deep empty nest with no baby birds in it.  I was the one in there still trying to find them. 

WHAT’S NEXT…for me, I am enjoying taking trips with my high school girlfriends.  Ok, we have only taken 2 but they have been awesome.  I am also starting a new business.

I am trying to do something new each week.  I am planning on learning tennis or golf.  Hubby and I can do whatever we want.

I plan on living with a WEAR THE PERFUME! mindset.

I want to live life to the full, as my baby birds are now beautiful women who will create their own nest someday.

THANK YOU FOR STOPPING BY!

Linda

WEAR THE PERFUME!