The last 4 months I have been lost. Obviously not really lost…but lost in where I really am going and how I am going to get there.
When I have a responsibility, I dive in and try and do my very best. I don’t want to disappoint anyone. So that is where I have spent my time lately. I have dedicated the majority of my time working in someone else’s business, instead of my own. True…I had a responsibility to them, which I don’t take lightly. However, what about the responsibility to myself? My family? My dreams? My calling? My happiness?
I have always had trouble putting myself first when it comes to living my dreams, except when I was in college and right out of college. When I was a young 20-something single, I went for “it”!! I followed my dreams, moved to the big city of Chicago and challenged myself to see what I could do in the “big” world. I have always been proud of taking those chances. I truly had the time of my life, while also struggling with loneliness. I would not change it for the world. Then marriage and children came along…the biggest blessings of my life!! I put myself on the backburner at that point. The discussions in my head were many but always the same over all of those years…what is best for my husband, what is best for my girls, what is best for our family, do I really need to do what I want right now when it doesn’t make sense…and the list goes on. Oh…I started a business with one of my best friends when my girls were still in school. I loved that business! However, I never really could dedicate my entire self to making the business a HUGE success (we were successful just not what I envisioned). I always made sure my girls, husband and family life came first.
Here’s the deal…I have ALWAYS had HUGE dreams!! I just forgot how to really live out those dreams because I worried about not putting others first. Back to my original purpose of this post…I have been putting others first again. I can still create the vision in MY DREAMS, while simultaneously helping others. NOW it is time for me to LIVE OUT MY DREAMS!! I will purposely carve time out of each day for MY DREAMS, MY PURPOSE! Please feel free to hold me accountable.
I heard a passage in a movie once that 100% describes what I have been feeling over the past few years. I am sure some woman out there understands and feels the same way. It is from “Bridges of Madison County”:
“When a woman makes the choice to marry, to have children; in one way her life begins but in another way it stops. You build a life of details. You become a mother, a wife and you stop and stay steady so that your children can move. And when they leave they take your life of details with them. And then you’re expected to move again only you don’t remember what moves you because no one has asked in so long. Not even yourself.”
Why am I writing this…because I need to tell myself to LIVE like I want everyone else to live! I want other women to know that someone else feels like they do. It is OK (actually NEEDED) for us to follow our dreams too. WEAR THE PERFUME! in your life….go after your dreams…take the chances…make the hard choices to make a change. I don’t want to live “lost” again. I hope someone reading this needs these words that I write which are hard for me to admit.
So “lost” is where I have been…but LIVING my dreams is where I am going!
P.S. Reminder of what “WEAR THE PERFUME!” means – don’t wait to do the things you want in life – big or small. Wear the nice perfume even on a day you stay home, paint the room you have been wanting to paint, take the trip you have been dreaming about, call that friend you haven’t talked to in a while, start the business you dream of all of the time, and the list goes on!!
THANKS FOR STOPPING BY!
WEAR THE PERFUME!
Linda
